Hey guys, I have to warn you. It'll be quite a long post. So, if you're not interested. You can close this after reading half of it or whenever you want to.
You guys have to know that I have been staring at the same page on my computer screen for 2 hours. No, it wasn't porn. Yes, I was stoning. As I said, I usually think/reflect. Whatever you wanna call it.
If I had to picture what my life is like, it's probably like that photo up there. Empty. With crossroads. Don't deny it, because I know many of you feel like this at times too. Y'know, when shit happens. And then there's no one there to help you.
Why? Because there are times where you have to make your own decisions. Make your own stand. Let go of the people who have been leading you since, whenever they started to.
I know a lot of decisions made were bad ones, trust me, because no one has made "stupider" mistakes than I have. If you say, "shit happens". Then it's perpetually raining shit in my life.
The worst part is? You never ever find people you can trust your secrets with. Because you never know when they're gonna freaking stab you in the back. And nope, not even your family. Not ANYONE. Who're you gonna rely on? That's right...
Yourself. Reality has just slapped you in the face. Again. Then you ask, "but i have friends?" Well yea, but sorry darling, friends don't last forever. Seriously.
I've thought so much about the existence of this blog. It's like I'm not even carrying out its purpose. And so much for all the formspring shit. It's like I'm taking the wrong direction already. People have told me about this also, and yea, i agree. This whole thing's changing me. I don't even know if it's for the better or worse. I don't even know if I actually want to continue this, because I'm not sure if I'm happy. And then people are gonna start asking, "Jiawei, what's up with this? Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it? Blah blah blah."
Now ask yourself. Do these people actually mean it? Or do they wanna find out what's going on for the sake of gossips/ being nosy etc.
OR do they actually want to be your friend. REAL friend?
Ahhh.. Y'know what. Let's just leave it as it is. For now.
Anyway, formspring questions:
I mean. Come on............ For the 523485th time already. If this is about Sop. Then No!??!!? Dude.. I've already said it soo many times. Sop and I are good friends and we're better off as that? Anyway.. I'd probably only be jealous because he plays the guitar a lot better than I do. I think.
Yes. I have. I've thought about it a lot. These thoughts don't usually end up happy. Why? Because I don't wanna get married if I think I'm not able to provide for my girlfriend. Then the girlfriend's better off with another guy.
This is actually quite a good question. Thanks for asking this. I have to re-think my plans again. Since y'know, people usually diss my ideas. yes, But i want to travel, backpack and study animals. And make a living out of it, just enough for myself. And possibly another person.
Badly.
That's all guys. This may actually be my last post here. My friend told me, "I think you were better off without the blog." I didn't know what to say. He may be right. Really.
I'm not gonna bother publicizing my post this time. It just goes out to my faithful readers who actually bother reading nonsense I've been typing. Thanks. I appreciate it.
"All these things I hate revolve around me." i finally see it now.
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