You Are Sadly Mistaken.

Hello there.

The truth hurts. Guess it's always been that way.

Some people DEMAND the truth, but they just don't know what they're asking for. They have no idea what kinda shit they're getting into by doing so. There must be a reason why the other person's lying to them, and it's probably not good stuff. (Unless you get a kick out of lying to people, like me. Usually.. I'll be joking.)

But lying's not necessarily a bad thing. As proven by the invention of "White Lies". Am I wrong to say, we all lie, because we CARE. It doesn't have to be caring for others, it can be caring for the other person's emotions, to protect the other person from harm. Or it can also be caring for our pride, our OWN emotions. So, if we were to say the "White Lies" are created to protect something. Then aren't all lies = "White Lies"?

Let's face it, lies are what create the world. They define us. Creating an identity, that's a lie too. Because deep down inside, we know that, we're never good enough.

Emo thoughts stop here. So.. Since some of you are so bad at lying, let me tell you how to do it. (not saying that I'm an expert, but I'm okay at it)

HOW TO LIE: A STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE TO LIFE

1. GET YOUR FREAKING FACIAL EXPRESSIONS RIGHT

So the first thing to do is to make sure your face doesn't give it away.

I have no idea who this dude is. Just got it off the netz~

If you are gonna lie with this face on. It's not gonna work. Maintain a freaking poker face. And once you get better, match your facial expressions with the lies that you're gonna tell.

For example, "Hi Mum, it wasn't me that broke your flower pot."

Awwww.

Don't worry, this takes practice.

2. USE DETAILS

The second thing to make your lies convincing, is to add as much life into it as possible.

For example, if I said, "Hey mum, nope I wasn't out in town yesterday."

It'd be so much better if you included stuff like, "Hey mum, I was at home yesterday. Ohhh, and you know when I was watching the American Idol replay on Channel 5, a FREAKING BEE flew into the house. I didn't know what to do so I took a broom and started swinging at the bee. But it still flew out. Yeapp, luckily it didn't fly into my room or something. Oh and as I was saying, I was at home chillin' out..."

It'd be good if the details are realistic. And try to add the necessary emotions during your speech, like how you'd really react at stuff like that.

3. CHOOSE YOUR VICTIM

This will obviously be the person you're trying to lie to. Well, points to take note, if a person looks like this,

MAJULAH, SINGAPURA

Then you should know better than to lie to him/her. But if a person looks like this,

"Dohhhhh, nyegh nyegh"

Then yea, I think you have a better shot at success. Oh hold on, did I mention that THE MORE THE PERSON TRUSTS YOU, THE EASIER IT IS TO LIE TO THEM? (Common sense but often overlooked)

Also, if the person's a sucker for you, he/she'd totally buy what you're saying. Just for his/her own emotional security.

But just remember, DON'T TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED. Because you'll never know when they're gonna walk away from you.

4. COMBINE THEM

So if you wanna be an EXPERT liar, just remember to follow those steps. Sure, you might take some time to get all of them right. But once you do, YOU'RE UNSTOPPABLE. Oh and do remember not to keep repeating the same lies. Firstly, it shows the lack of creativity. Secondly, you're gonna get found out. :)

If you thought I was already scary, you might wanna re-think now.

Soooooooo... tell me. Why do people lie?

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