Pathetic, Ordinary

Hello there.

I've been away for a while. For the most obvious reasons.

I have some news to share today. My results for this sem.


You may be thinking, "Holy shi- Jiawei omg, friggin' amazing!"



And now you're like, "Oh.....kayy.... maybe not so."

So that sums up my poly life guys. Weak GPA of 3.299. Caz last thing I heard, to get into NUS or NTU or SMU for the BA course, you need to have at least like what, 3.7/3.8? Good job Jiawei. Really.

Don't get me wrong guys. I know my results are average. And some of you might think I'm cocky or whatever. But I'm not. You guys may have plans for the different direction you're gonna take. I just know that tons of people did way better than me. And I'm not even gonna be a competition to them when it comes to entering the Unis.

Lemme see where I went wrong, ohkaayyy... lemme find it.

There. Found it. Just fucking great. When was this? Right, end of year 1. 2008/2009. I hate to say it. But this. This will haunt me for the rest of my life. Let's hear it for the one and only..........


Douchebag of the century. Dude... You have no idea, how much, I wanna go back 2 years before, to beat the living cowface out of you. Caz, now, right now. You have nowhere to go. You didn't plan for shit. Hell, your "just see how stuff goes" mindset got you into a pile of horseshit. Yea, I'd rip your eyeliner off your face. Tear your painted nails off your fingers and drill them into your tight pants.

I just spent the day watching 1 whole season of How I Met Your Mother. I just.... didn't feel like doing anything else. I really felt like running. But, I'm sick. So yea.

Here's what I'm gonna do. Starting next week. I'm gonna set some goals.

1. I'm gonna find a nice Coffee Bean/ Starbucks
2. I'm gonna apply for ANY possible cause in ANY local Uni
3. I'm gonna find out about the SATs stuff
4. I'm gonna study the shit out of the SATs stuff

That's it. For the next week. But for now. This week. I just wanna party my heart out. My lungs and my liver and kidneys. I need this... MEGA party. I need to swing my friggin' arms. And cheer. I wanna go somewhere, play the guitar with someone. I wanna get arrested for public urination. (just kidding. HIMYM joke. And screw you guys, I know I'm slow. Only finished season 1.)

So yea. Anyone of you interested in doing SATs. Pleaaasee. Let me know. I don't wanna do this alone.

Side note:
I know, how much I've been saying about, how people get hurt so easily. How people should take control of their lives and emotions. I know I call people weak. Some people see me as this, unbreakable dude. Void of emotions. People ask me, "why're you like that?" The thing is, I know. I know they're not the weak ones. And guess what, I've been the weak one all along. So all these, strong fronts I've been putting up. It's already a habit. Because I've found that, I'll never. NEVER be able to show anyone how vulnerable I really am. That's just me. Caz once someone does, he/she gets into my very fucking bones and then he/she's gonna start taking them out. One. By one. And I'll never be able to stop that from happening.

So someone once told me (and I really don't remember where/when), there's a difference between a person with a huge ego and a true leader. (by leader, I mean, in like anything.) A person with a huge ego puts people down, disses them, demoralizes them, in order to make himself feel better. Truth is, he's probably not even at their levels. A true leader, takes everyone waaaaaaaaaaay up even if it means allowing another person to overtake him.

Yea. I guess. I've always been the huge egoist I never wanted to be. Really sorry.